Fox Newscaster Drinks Soy Jism

Don’t cry over ejaculated coconut milk. Today’s news comes from contributor Dan Mims, who covers a hilarious but telling incident where some Fox 5 Newscasters attempted to define “Milk”.

by contributor Dan Mims

Come for the fun verbal spaghetti, stay for the unintended implications.

The National Milk Producers Federation is appealing to the FDA to require that plant-based milk producers — those who make what is currently known as soy milk, rice milk, and almond milk — be disallowed from calling their products “milk.” They claim that only “mammalian lacteal secretions” should be called “milk.”

In the above video, the female anchor discussing this story verbally… ejaculates… that plant-based milk producers should use the word “jism” instead of “milk.” That’s pretty funny.

What’s even funnier is that mammalian lacteal secretions are no more appetizing than jism. Bodily fluids — yummy! Even better when they don’t come from our own species.

One can only hope that the NMPF continues to be honest about its product by continuing to use the term “mammalian lacteal secretions.” Soy/rice/almond milk producers, you now have your comeback.


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  • http://www.badideapotluck.com Bev

    I really hope that nothing comes of this.

  • Jeremy

    Besides just being so awkward (you have to wonder where she heard the word jism since she says it with such childlike stupidity), the whole exchange just shows you how skewed the debate has become. People just aren’t very aware of what they consume and where it comes from. The story is that billions of cows are tortured and murdered each year, not what word we plan on calling “mammalian lacteal secretions”.

  • http://www.veganhappyhour.com chris

    Oh Fox News…anything for attention.

  • http://a-soy-bean.blogspot.com/ ASB

    This whole farce should backfire and the alterna-milks should join forces to make the dairy industry use the label, COW milk on all products. Adding, “you know, for COWS” optional.

    • http://www.HERE.am Dan Mims

      Haha yes! An amazing idea.

  • http://dreaminitvegan.blogspot.com/ JoLynn

    HA! Very funny! Have they even looked up the definition?