The Discerning Brute

• I’m trying to figure out what the hell all this infantile (haha!) hysteria about he human breast milk cheese is really about. Is it really being considered the worst idea ever? It it really illegal? C’mon. Really?

When comparing cow and human milk, let’s ask a few question. Which milk comes from a consenting individual? It’s not the cows’. Which milk typically has pus, blood, synthetic hormones, and feces in it? Nope, not the human milk. Which milk is designed by nature for human consumption? Not the cows’. Which milk is responsible for the veal industry and global warming? Not the human milk.

So why are people freaking out? Why is human breast milk any more gross than drinking the random tit milk from a cow stuck in a filthy factory farm up to its knees in feces? Let’s face it, people are so boob obsessed that’s all they can think about. Boobs! But if you had to push a calf aside, crawl under a cow and put an udder in your mouth and suck – you’d have a much different point of view. The anonymity and safety of the milk carton obscures the truth. The newness of the human milk illicits visions of adults sucking on pregnant tits, which is, apparently, very scary. That’s why I prefer almond, coconut, rice, and soy milk. Yum!

What do you think about this issue? Leave a comment!

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• Serious Eats’ Michael Natkin conducted a taste test of several store-bought tofu brands to bring you the least-bland winner of the taste test! I’ve never been a huge fan of plan old tofu, but according to Michael:

“…not all tofu is created equal. Some tofu has a mild, sweet beany flavor and a smooth consistency, while other brands have flavor defects and strange textures.

In Japan, it’s understood that top-shelf bean curd is an artisanal product made with only the best soybeans and spring water and processed with labor-intensive traditional techniques. That level of appreciation is unusual in the United States, but perhaps it will become more common as we realize that tofu is a versatile and delicious food in its own right, not a replacement for meat.”

• Remember those recycled cassette tape ties? Check these recycled cassette tape fedoras from the same people!