Sold on Celery

by D. R. Hildebrand

Whenever I go food shopping I tend to pick up, ponder, and put back the same foods every time.  Most of these foods are in recipes I want to make, but are sold in quantities I will never finish—at least not before they go bad.  I get excited when I see them but then pause and picture myself weeks later combing through the refrigerator finding a pile of limp, rotten remains, and I pass.

Celery is my number one culprit.  I always intend to eat it but never actually buy it.  I don’t have a juicer, though if I did I’m still not sure I’d consume it fast enough, and even with peanut butter I’ve never liked eating it as a snack.  So I decided recently that I would tackle celery in spurts: whenever I would buy this vitamin K-rich veggie I would be prepared with a handful of dishes that included it, and I would make them in succession until every stalk was gone.

Here are a few easy recipes for anyone with a similar celery conundrum.  Modify them as needed and enjoy.  And please feel free to share your own.

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Celery Hard-On, Our Legacy, and Black & Noir

• All of you Discerning Brutes out there know how difficult it is to find menswear that is distinctive, well-made, ethical, and classic. Our Legacy is a Swedish line featuring thoughtfully tailored shirting, suiting, knitwear and more. Their blazers are versatile, and cut short. Many of their shirts are inspired by cuts from the 1940’s. They do have several ethical options, including a naturally dyed, oak-buttoned blazer in hemp, a linen bomber-jacket in navy, dead-stock shirts, shirts in organic cotton, and hemp shorts and trousers in olive and camel. Everything is sweatshop-free; designed in Sweden, constructed in Portugal with Japanese fabric. I really hope to see more and more sustainable fabrics added to future collections, and for these Stockholm designers to ditch leather (why, you ask?).

http://4pack.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/celery2.jpg• Admit it, celery gives you a hard-on. A new study concluded that eating lots of celery is like “Vegetable Viagra“. It contains androstenone, a natural steroid that increases pheromone secretion, sex drive, and ups the amount of ejaculatory fluids, making climax stronger. Of course, this is not news to you guys who already know that diets heavy in meat and dairy have been linked to poor sperm quality, prostate cancer, and erectile dysfunction. Contrary to popular belief, the male hormone testosterone that determines sexual development and interest has been found to be 13 % higher in vegans than in meat-eaters.

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• You’re in a rush (again), and your hair is a greasy mess. It’s okay, we all do it; there’s no time for a shower. So, do you throw on a baseball cap and throw in the flag? Certainly not! You use organic, dry shampoo! It’s only tested on human heads, is talc-free and scented with earthy essential oils, and takes care of greasy, oily buildup. From Lulu Organics. Comes in a handy travel-size, too! $40 for the huge one, and $9.50 for the mini.

http://www.luluorganicsnyc.com/luluorganics_hairpowder.jpghttp://www.luluorganicsnyc.com/travel_big.jpg

• Nothing beats a beat-up, super soft tee in spring, summer or underneath a button-down. Ultrasoft, 100% organic cotton V-necks from Black & Noir  – $58 at blackbirdballard.com

Blanc & Noir Short Sleeve V Neck Tee in GreyBlanc & Noir Short Sleeve V Neck Tee in Haze