Smells Like Crap & Tastes Like Coffee

Civet

The Civet Cat is a rather cute animal. Sort of cat-like, but actually from the Viverridae family – the animal is native to Africa, Madagascar, the Iberian Peninsula, southern China, and Southeast Asia. Strangely, we humans have taken a liking to this fuzzy critters poop and anal gland secretions. We’ve been wearing it in our fragrances and drinking coffee beans that pass through (if you know what I mean).

The smelly stuff, which is also called civet, that comes out of the perineal glands (near the anus) is quite musky and acts as a stabilizing agent in fragrances – it extends the life of the overall smell, their olfactory duration, if you will. Left to itself in nature, the musk is very offensive, has been known to induce vomiting in humans, and can smell for up to four months. In order to harvest the secretion, the civet must be killed or have the thick, yellow grease painfully scraped from the gland’s anal sac. The civet’s secretions must be combined with alcohol and other chemicals to bring out its “pleasant musky odor”.  It is rumored that civet cats produce more secretions when they are under stress, so many of the farmers hit their cages to keep them scared. Fortunately, synthetic civetone has been synthesized from precursor chemicals found in palm oil, but many supposed “high-quality” perfume manufacturers still prefer torturing these unfortunate and smelly animals. There are other animals also used for their smells.

And if you didn’t think this poor animal already had it tough, people have been drinking incredibly expensive coffee that has been shat out after these guys eat the coffee cherries. It sorta looks like a Babe Ruth bar, no? At first, people collected the wild droppings, but now they’ve realized that farming the civets yields greater revenue. The whole demand for the crappuccino comes from the distinct and rare flavor that occurs from the fermentation process inside the civets stomach. Now, I know there are people out there who are scientists. Can’t you think of more intelligent way to ferment coffee cherries?

Fortunately, someone has done just that. According to poopcoffee.com, “The Trung Nguyen Coffee Company hired a German scientist to research the chemical processes that occur in the Civet’s stomach, and in 1996 scientists were able to isolate six specific digestive enzymes and then use these enzymes to create a synthetic soak known as Legendee, which they patented. “

When you cage a wild animal, you prevent it from doing  anything that nature intended it to do. It is emotional and physical torture for wild animals to be locked up – and this is no exception, no matter how delicious the coffee tastes, it’s still shitty. No matter how amazing the fragrance smells, it’s still shitty. Free the civet cats!

New York Times: A civet farm in Liwa, a town in Sumatra, where the catlike animals eat coffee cherries. Their droppings contain coffee beans fermented in their stomachs.

No Basement in the Alamo: Going Veg in San Antonio

I was in San Antonio, Texas last week – living out my Pee Wee’s Big Adventure fantasies and exploring the liberal pockets in that big red state. It’s true that the stars at night are big and bright. The River Walk is very quaint and touristy, and the shopping district was full of Mexican artisans and not so cow-friendly products.

I was thrilled to find the only 100% vegetarian joint in San Antonio – Green Vegetarian Cuisine & Coffee. I enjoyed a yummy toasted sourdough grinder with breaded tofu, special sauce, and spicy kale salad. They also offered incredible vegan soft serve that put Atlas and Penny Licks to shame. Step it up New York City! Get some soft serve where there’s cones (Pennylicks!) and get some cones where there’s soft serve (Atlas!). The following day, I had the glazed Neat-Loaf which was so tasty that I could live on it for a week. My server was super-friendly and helpful. If you are in Texas, definitely stop by!

San Antonio, Texas

San Antonio, Texas

Green Vegetarian Cuisine & Coffee
1017 N. Flores
San Antonio, TX 78212
9 am -9 pm Sunday – Thursday
Friday 9 am – 8 pm
closed Saturday
210-320-5865

Soy Lattes & Cahsew Cheese in Williamsburg Brooklyn

I live in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. One of my favorite things to do on a Brooklyn afternoon is to enjoy a soy-latte at Gimme! Coffee. Gimme! could be the best coffee in New York City. They have rave reviews, and I have yet to find something better. Their beans are fresh-ground and absolutely never bitter. Smooth, rich, and aromatic – the product is nearly perfect.

Soy Latte at Gimme! Coffee

After my soy-latte, if I am feeling especially indulgent – I head to Marlow & Son, the mostly-not-vegan-at-all gourmet mini-market/restaurant-cafe/wine-bar and pick up a wheel of Dr-Cow’s Aged Cashew Cheese to eat with a fresh baguette and a bottle of S.Pellegrino. Dr. Cow’ Cashew cheese tastes like any good, soft, French cheese. The only catch is that it’s hand-made in Williamsburg from cashews – not from cholesterol, pus & chemical laden cow’s milk. I am in love. Won’t you join me?

DrCow